The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap Paperback – May 11, 2022

This book changed my life almost overnight. I've read many books to overcome trauma and learn healthier patterns within relationships, but this one has made the biggest impact on me and others I have shared it with. As I started reading through the chapters, I was able to identify generational patterns and finally make the connections that describe WHY certain behavior patterns occurred, and WHAT was needed to overcome them. If you take time to really work through this book on an intentional basis while making daily efforts to address your behavior patterns, you will experience a new level of emotional well-being you never thought possible. Highly recommend this amazing book!

I highly recommend this book especially to anyone who has experienced childhood attachment trauma and/or narcissistic abuse and/or toxic relationships, and I also highly recommend it to those who have not experienced these things so you can understand the dynamics and how and why they exists, order to recognize it to protect yourself.Ross Rosenberg is a licensed therapist who is an expert on these topics (and many others). In this book, he explains the origins of both Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Codependency or Self Love Deficit Disorder (as he has renamed the term). With his "Human Magnet Syndrome" theory, he explains how and why we attract and are attracted to, our romantic partners. He explains in a way that is easy to understand, why codependents attract narcissists and why narcissists attract codependents.Consciously, we may know what we are attracted to in a mate, but buried deep in our subconscious, is an invisible force (that we are not even aware of) that was programmed into us as young children when we experienced childhood trauma, which pulls us toward/attracts us to a person with traits that complement our traits. We were conditioned as young children to be attracted to some people and not others. Subconsciously, we are recreating our childhood trauma in an attempt to heal it, and we are not even aware that is what we are doing.All we know is there is intense, irresistible chemistry. Someone who is high on the narcissistic scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the codependent scale and someone who is high on the codependent scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the narcissistic scale. This is why we have explosive fire work chemistry with some people and not others. Narcissists will not attract narcissists and codependents will not attractcodependents - they actually repel each other, which is why there is no chemistry.If you are on a healing journey and you are trying to recover from a toxic relationship, I not only highly recommend this book, but I also highly recommend you read any articles and books written by Ross Rosenberg that you can get your hands on, watch all his YouTube videos and go to any retreats he offers. This man is the REAL DEAL! He gets it! This is time and money well spent!

I've studied about NPD and how it affects relationships and children of NPD's for many years, not all scapegoated children grow up to develop NPD. The golden child is as much at risk of developing NPD or any child for that matter, that comes from a dysfunctional home. NPD can develop in any child depending on many variables and is not so black and white. For the scapegoats who are codependents and are reading this book, seeking help and freedom from gaslighting, please don't internalize and further turn on yourself. You are ok.

We live in a polarized world, everything is positive and negavite--the trick is to stay in the middle(don't get me started about the polical scene). This book explains how we can be out of balance--too giving--too selfish--which means we will attract someone in our life to balance us out. Trouble is, we only see them as either--someone to take advantage of--or someone who takes advantage of us.It's too bad there aren't therapists out there who can lay it out in such a simple way as this author has--the world wants us to be in balance, if we are out of balance, we will attract a person who will be the opposite.The more out of balance we are, the stronger the attraction to someone who is our opposite. Yikes. So, if you're the sort of person who can't say no, you'll attract someone who will take advantage of you until you learn. If you don't claim responsibility for your part in the balancing act, and you dump them, you'll find their evil twin who will up the ante on getting you to learn to say no.No blame in the game of life. We all get what we need according to our 'charge'.

This book and information was the start of a new and fulfilling life! If I knew then what I know now…. Fill in the blank. It was me that had to change and I thank God everyday for this start of my life of learning how to love myself. Thank you Ross for your life long work I will always remember what you did for me. ❤️

This has been some hefty reading, but so worth it for me. I’m glad I stayed with it. At times, I felt like I was slogging through a textbook, but then I realized that - of course! - for this material to be really valuable, it would need to be very complete and comprehensive. The author has done a professional job of presenting well researched information. I most certainly benefitted. In my case, I see several trauma-causing patterns (from my childhood) described and explained in ways I had never understood before. It made me realize that those patterns impacted me in ways that were not even in my conscious awareness, in many cases. Furthermore, the path forward, for how to work on overcoming the negative or trauma patterns that affected me, is carefully and completely outlined. I am so appreciative. Go into this book knowing that it is no quick or light read. I had to slow myself down, highlight many places, go back, read again, and all that, and I am so very glad I did, because this will continue to be a valuable resource for me. Thank you so much for all your hard work in producing such a useful book.