Friend Of A Friend . . .: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Your Career

First, if you look back in my previous emails, I am an older executive, not looking for a job, I have a small project that I am working on, and I am looking to create/discover others.I came away feeling two changes. One, I became more curious about what people actually do and their interests and how I may help them, and two, I became curious about why people wanted to connect with me.Regarding the first point, I've started asking friends more in depth kind of questions, mostly in casual conversation. It is interesting to learn more about them and I think it makes for a tighter bond. As long as you have that one motive it seems to be enriching. I find myself feeling a little strange, tainted even, if I let the thought of "how can you help me?" sneak in. I guess that is the part where "networking" and "dirty" meet.Regarding the second point, I took a seminar a few years ago and one of the things I learned is to use linked in and grow your network and that was about it. At the time I had 40 or so connections and never bothered to connect with anyone. So after the seminar, I started reaching out to whomever, just to grow my network. I now have 1300 or so connections and the one thing so far that I see, is that because of the number of my connections, I get at least one new request per day to connect. Most of them are from factories in China, India and Pakistan, since I am in the home textiles business. So I started asking people, "We connected at your request, how may I help you?" Of about 30 inquiries, most didn't answer back. One answered, "sorry to bother you, our system hooked us up", another answered, "yes" a designer from NYC (my locations) answered, "just thought we might share ideas". I said no problem and she messaged me back "how are you?".So I've come to the conclusion that most people are just going through the motions when it comes to linked in or connecting including me. And, Pareto's Law is alive and well all over the place. I see a need to turn your book into some kind of a learning session, like a seminar or workshop, especially for people early on in their careers.

"Go to networking events..." is the advice most people are given when they inquire about how to build their network. But most people (including me) hate these events. I am not an outwardly social person and I struggle with the small talk at these events. Friend of a Friend provides a refreshing and alternative point of view on the networking subject. It integrates research--that most of us will never bother to read--with real-life anecdotes and practical advice. Burkus has a smooth and easy-to-read writing style and the book really made me think about "How" I could better leverage my network for projects I am working on. The timing of this book is also perfect. As we continue to move to more of a "Gig" economy, our personal networks will become even more valuable to us on a weekly or daily basis, to find more gigs to work on. I highly recommend the book for students and all types of professionals. The principles apply to all levels and you will definitely learn a lot!

Ottimo libro per comprendere il funzionamento della rete sociale, della quale ci troviamo a fare parte. Molto utile; ne consiglio la lettura a tutti.

Like many areas of our lives, we often tend to approach networking based on our instincts and our "gut", but is there a better way to connect with people and build our own networks?It turns out there is.In this book author David Burkus cites case studies and research in various social sciences to provide useful, practical, and effective advice on how networks actually work and how we can improve our own networks. As Burkus puts it, this book "takes a deep dive into the proven science of networks and shares the implications for anyone looking to upgrade their connections and relationships."Friend of a Friend explores the science of networking through the lens of a series of concept and ideas, each outlined and described in detail. The book's chapters include:Find Strength in Weak TiesSee Your Whole NetworkBecome a Broker and Fill Structural HolesSeek Out SilosBuild Teams from All Over Your NetworkBecome a Super-ConnectorLeverage Preferential AttachmentCreate the Illusion of MajorityResist HomophilySkip Mixers - Share Activities InsteadBuild Stronger Ties Through MultiplexityI'm a fan of David's previous books, The Myths of Creativity and Under New Management, this new book is a great addition to David's body of work.There is great information in every chapter, but my favorites were the chapters on silos and shared activities. We hear a lot about "silo busting" but it turns we can get a lot of value out of seeking out and being part of silos. One of the best ways to get to know someone is to work with them side-by-side. Actions speak louder than words, and how we behave often tells others far more about us than we can with words. Participating in shared activities is a great way to build connections.I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a new approach to both personal and professional networking.[Disclaimer: I received a pre-release copy of this book for pre-ordering]

I read an excerpt of this book in the WSJ in maybe September, 2018 and clipped the column and then bought the book a couple of weeks later. The reason for my delay was that I was trying to tamper down my impulse buying on Amazon.I coach a business owner who wants to grow her business and part of my deal with her was that she and I would both read the same book each month on sales, selling or business development. There would be no test, no quizzes, and certainly I had no intention of having either of us read any book like we would read a college text.The goal is simple: find an idea from the book and put it to use.We both read the book which has each chapter leading with a nice story, a relatable example of networking followed by the research. The stories are excellent but the research can be shall we say, a bit tedious and you might need a strong cup of coffee for parts, but still very, very worthwhile.Now, my headline says Buy it. Read it. Use it. I did the first two things and then in one of the stories, I found an idea (and remember, I am reading for ideas) that I have now put to use.As General Patton said "A good plan, violently executed today beats waiting for the perfect plan next week."As a result of putting this idea to use, and no, I won't tell you what it is, for the first time in years I have a very nice and soon to be profitable business development program that works, is fun and prospects are clamoring for more.So, David, thank you for your hard work from the bottom of my heart.