Is It You or Is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game

I haven't completed it yet, but it's a good read. I can definitely apply it to real life situations.

Five stars

Arrived in advertised condition. This book offers essential ideas and compliments other books that seek to offer help to women (mostly--because men just move on or away), in their agonizing struggle to create and sustain relationships that can be rewarding for wives and their (unconsciously) reformed, husbands.

I bought this book about 5 years ago. It has been one of the most life changing books I have ever read. Like the other reviewer said, you finally see how you contribute to the issues, and it isn't always the other person in the relationship with the problem. This gives you some great tools on how to talk with another person as to not initiate their defense mechanism, and instead on how to discuss issues calmly, and in a respectful way. I will be re-reading this book soon.....it is a great tool.

Before my wife and I split up I wanted her to read this book since it brought balance and solutions a relationship that couldn't survive as it was. However, the idea that she might be a contributing factor in it's failing direction wasn't something she could tolerate . Men move on after a divorce, and that's probably true, as I would have done, but we had children and I wanted there to be an understanding why things went as they did and the possibility that a marriage might be saved should she read this book. I wanted my youngest son to read it thinking it would give him insight into any relationship he might have and also to understand why his parents were at odds with each other, she being more at odds with me than I was with her. Why was that? Many reasons and it would take too much time to explain, but it revolves around her abusive childhood, humiliation, etc. I bought the book and she hid it from my son for she is a woman who couldn't and wouldn't even consider the idea that she might be wrong or at least part wrong. But the book was hidden or thrown away and the relationship ended. Some people are too weak to consider they might be wrong, and I've found women fall into that trap more than men. That may seem a bit sexist but unfortunately it is true. What's the answer to a happy marriage/relationship? That the chemistry be right, if it isn't there were never be acceptance or love and nobody can earn another person's love, they are either loved or they are not.