Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation Hardcover – January 7, 2020

Raising the Challenging Child was a wonderful read. First of all, there are hundreds of parenting books out there. However, this one presents in a way that is extremely informative and clear, yet does not have a judgmental sort of tone that some take on. As a parent who is struggling with their child in any capacity, it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help or try to look outward for answers. The authors did a beautiful job of balancing their knowledge of the top things that would benefit any parent-child relationship and support a child’s social-emotional development with a tone that is gentle, encouraging, and suggestive to the reader. The book is broken out into three sections: Be a Leader, Dig Deeper, & Prepare for Success. While the information inside includes critically important topics for parents (a few of my favorites: balancing structure and nurture; how to help children calm down; why we share power to gain power; limit-setting and being playful; understanding the need underneath the behavior; helping children feel validated and valued; looking inward as parents; healthy touch; and setting limits without saying no), it is done in a way which is easy to understand and even easier to practice. The book is full of concrete, practical ways to implement the mini “lessons.” They include tables with examples of ways you “perhaps” might be parenting, and if so, concrete examples to try it or think about it differently. The book is filled with “strategies that help,” different ways to get curious and understand your child’s behaviors, and concrete ways to respond. What’s even better for very busy parents who may be struggling with challenging behaviors, is that they can flip to sections to get the immediate information and suggestions needed for what they are struggling with in their family and it would make sense without reading cover to cover. As a parent, a therapist and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultant, this book is going in my list of top books to recommend to parents and to professionals in the helping field working with children and their caregivers.

Best book for tough kids

Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation by Buckwater, Reed, And Sunshine is based on research done by an organization. The reader is told that the strategies presented have been tried by members of their staff with their own children and found to be helpful.In our society today, we might agree that all children can pose some type of challenge and every child is different. Also, the family structure varies from household to household. We live in a world where we want something that is easy and shows instant results. The strategies presented in this book can be helpful, but the parent or adult exercising the strategies must recognize the importance of persistence and consistency.One good point they make is the need for the entire family to be on board with any strategy used in raising a child. While I totally agree with this, getting everyone on board is a challenge in and of itself. When trying to incorporate any strategy, it is important to realize that it may take multiple attempts. What works for one child may or may not work for another. Do not get discouraged if something does not work the first time! Reading their suggestions requires not only reading the book, but working through how you plan to incorporate their ideas with your own child. Share with the other adults in the household and make them aware of what your goals are. Work together!Another very important point they make, which I personally feel is crucial is making your child feel valued and loved. Tough love is tough to administer, but when done in a loving way, is a win win for both the parent and the child.Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in order to give an honest review.

First, I love the format - the quick tips, bonus idea's and simply illustrated examples will make the book an easy quick reference for parents in those moments when you really need to reach for support. I also love the concept of the relationship bank and the way withdrawals and deposits are explained for building trusting a secure relationships, particularly with children with attachment & trauma related needs. I don't think we often think of relationships like children do and the book does a brilliant job spelling out just how easily we can find ourselves painted into an adversarial corner with our kids. It's a great reminder for parents of the importance of play, encouragement, and keeping the big picture in mind when facing behavior that's uncomfortable. Above everything else this amazing book offers, it was remarkably refreshing to see parents offered written permission that it is okay for children to revisit developmental stages as a valuable part of their growth process. That is not something you see everyday and it's so important. Important for ALL parents, but a MUST READ for those parenting children who has experienced early loss or trauma and have trauma-related behavior. As a Regulation & Resilience Coach, I'll be recommending this to the parents of ALL of my clients, so grateful for this important work!

It is very useful for professionals and parents too.

Definitely a book I will refer to often and will recommend to others. If I could make one suggestion it would be to include access to a cheat sheet with the 'instead try this' sections to download and print as a quick reference.