If This is a Gift, Can I Send it Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice Exceptional

This, too, is life and can be life lived abundantly! Jen Merrill offers the parents of kids who are "gifted" and "twice exceptional"--gifted on the one hand but with some strange quirks and difficult challenges in cognitive processing on the other--a glimpse of how to navigate a world that still depends on social institutions built to serve bureaucratic administration and social control more than people. With humor and insight, Merrill dispenses with the clinical approach (often the cover professionals adopt when they just don't really know a lot) and pulls back the curtain on her own experiences as a parent. For those of us walking in similar shoes, the advice to grab a glass of wine and relax into the process of getting to know the particular kid(s) you have is a breath of fresh air... and it offers hope.Filled with little gems through which the reader has flashes of recognition and finds comfort to know that he or she is not alone out here, this is one of my favorites:"the [school] district's GT program is more for high-achievers, and not exactly for gifted students. Gifted students can be high-achievers, but not all high-achievers are truly gifted. I swear I'll say it until my lungs hurt, but gifted is wiring. Parents who desperately want gifted kids really want high-achieving kids, because if they truly had gifted kids with the (hmm, what descriptor shall I use?) interesting wiring, they'd be rocking under their desks, quivering like the rest of us. It ain't all sunshine and roses, folks. Some days make me want to stab a rainbow."Merrill gives voice to many of this reviewers own frustrations as she describes her family's journey from institutional schooling to homeschooling. It's not that we disdain society and don't want to fit in, we just want to see our kids flourishing. It's not that we believe teachers aren't up to the task--as Merrill puts it, "Teachers are the front-line scapegoats for a very broken system." It's just that we have to put our kids before the system.Merrill eloquently describes the razor's edge we travel of making a choice between working to fit in and deciding to do something different. In the end, some of us choose to try to work with the system, and some choose to stand with our kid outside the system. Neither choice is right or wrong, neither path is easy, and as canaries in the coal mine, we should all be chirping in harmony: the system is broken.Merrill offers no easy answers about system reform, but it's possible that this journey we are on is one that will eventually lead to a new vision for what it means to educate all children well. And it may be that some of our children, allowed to learn along their own unique pathways, will be the ones to design the new schools so desperately needed for the world of the future.

What a rare find of a book. As a mother new to the 2e journey, I found so much solidarity in this.It could have very well been my personal diary. It was much shorter than I expected (only about 60 pages), but there isn't much out there like it. This book is not a handbook or guide for our children, it's for the parents (mothers) who need validation and solidarity. There were many passages in this book that put into words what I have found difficult to articulate. I think this would also be helpful to pass on to family and friends who need help understanding the journey and isolation of a 2e parent.

This book the problem of 2e children. In someways their highly talented in many areas. But in so other their terrible in in some. The problem of 2e children see the weakness and ignore strength them. But forget the talent they have hardly develop them. Or not at all. Which leaves a lost of talent. The problem is been far too ignored. And no answers, how many lost or destoryed dreams. Of a problem could of been solved.

I cried. I laughed. I nearly choked. The descriptions and insight are brilliant in their imagery and brutal in their honesty. I highlighted passages because they perfectly describe my child and the battles we go through. If you have a gifted or 2E child, you know your life isn't normal. You know your child will never conform. You know that most days bring struggles, 1,000,000 questions from your child, emotional upheaval, and frustration. You may not know that it is OK to smile and laugh about the idiosyncratic life you lead. This book is worth the price. It made me feel better than eating a luscious chocolate bar at the end of a rough day with my child. Unlike a chocolate binge, I won't have a sugar hangover and can go back to the brilliant words again whenever I need to know there is someone else out there who gets what I'm going through.Don't buy this book if you are looking for advice. Buy this book because you've read all of the books out there on gifted/2E and you need commiseration.

People think that raising a gifted child should be easy. They think that somehow these kids will magically skip over all the regular childhood frustrations, choosing to study or do homework over anything else. They think "gifted" means highly-driven, hardworking prodigies.But they aren't all like that. This book nails it - NAILS IT - what it's like to raise a gifted and 2e child. With her biting wit, Merrill has shared parts of her story in a way that will make you laugh until your sides hurt and cry on the same page.My copy is kept by my front door with the requirement that anyone who walks in the door read it (it's a fast read). I've sent copies to extended family members. If my child was in school I would take copies to his teachers and the administrators at his school (I, like the author, have had to jump into homeschooling because regular school couldn't keep up).Buy it. Read it. Laugh, cry, and know that you aren't alone.

This book is repetitive and all over the place. It is short and unhelpful and was not even slightly entertaining. It wasn't full of funny stories and the crazy things her sons did like I thought it would be. It was more about a mom explaining her situation and her frustrations-- mainly her frustrations. The author clearly is not happy with her situation, which she attempts to justify in order to make herself feel less guilty. Apparently few people "understand" what she's going through. If you want to read a book about an unhappy mom whose boys have driven her to become crazy, unorganized, and unsure of herself, then this is the book for you. If you want anything but that, don't waste your time. Even though this book is short, it won't be worth the quick read.

For anyone whose children are non-standard, this is an incredible read. I laughed out loud, I read it once at break-neck speed and then more slowly to savour the time when I was in company with someone else with a child like mine. So many 'help' books are grim and depressing. This one made me feel better...

This is a great point of view, as a lot of literature out there about giftedness and 2e are written by people who are not parents, but I found this book tried too hard to be funny and overkilled the joke about needing a drink. I found myself skimming through many parts as I felt it got repetitive but really appreciated the raw, honest moments that the author included.

Love this book. Honest, hilarious, and informative all in one.

What an amazing read! Thank you for writing down all the things I was thinking but couldn't put into words!I highly recommend this book to anyone with a 2e child!

This book is a sanity saviour. My sanity in particular. Even made me smile and laugh out loud. Hell I even nearly spilt my wine whilst reading. A must read for all people on this wild and crazy inducing ride.