Principia Amoris

This is an amazing bit of work decades in the making! I wish it had been available when I was doing my own studies regarding the biological and social evolution of love and sexual relationships. As a scientifically-minded anthropologist, it is refreshing to see human behavior so eloquently described by mathematical models so that we have both verifiable data and highly accurate predictive capabilities. The math is a bit dense for those with little background in it, though the authors do a good job of breaking it down into understandable chunks and an excellent job of graphing the equations for easy interpretation. The short of it is that there are communication styles that are great for maintaining healthy relationships and some that are absolute poison, and these models can determine what your communications types are and whether you'll be happily married, miserably married, or acrimoniously divorced within six years after an analysis of a fifteen minute conflict conversation. It points out where less scientifically robust couples' counseling models have gone wrong and gives solid advice for how to modify your communications styles to improve your relationship - or determine that your relationship is unhealthy and unworkable, and should be abandoned before causing each other further pain and misery. I would recommend this book to both those with an academic interest and those who truly want to build the best love relationships they can. I can't wait to get into Gottman, et al's other works based on some of the same research that are more geared toward practical application.

A good book, though, mathematically, his description seems somewhat incomplete and unusual. I guess he's trying to go for a popular treatment, so making clear statements regarding how he derived a certain result may have not been a priority. Nevertheless, as a physicist by education and programmer by trade, these technical details are my bread and butter. His bizarre treatment of the math using the form of a series in time, and his confusing variable definitions meant that I just gave up on the math. I'll go back later and see if I can make the functions and derivations line up with his statements about them.

I wish I would have had this information (and actually cared about it enough) to make different decisions about love in my life before. Discernment about conflict styles and issues associated with criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling would have helped tremendously to alleviate or address the pain and suffering from previous failed relationships. Of course, it's hard to say all of that through the delirious haze of early love but as I dissect relationships past through the framework developed by Gottman et al., i can see how things turned the way that they did.I also love the math but I'm a math guy....can get to the underlying ideas / principles without delving too deeply into the math.

Excellent description of a great body of research, along with autobiographical and historical information. Fascinating and informative, based on actual data, not just opinion, theory, or anecdotes. Don't let the math intimidate; if you like to understand how the science developed, the math is awesome, but the findings are described well in the text. Belongs in every therapist's library!

I am loving this book. The ideas are so well researched and though I'm only a moderate "math person", I appreciate that there's some evidence of actual scientific reasoning behind Gottman's theories as opposed to the wishy-washy self help "theories" pushed by various intuitive types. However, what's up with the editing? There are numerous typos and redundancies. This book feels like it was slammed together without the necessary grammar vetting. I always feel like simple and silly errors in the text call into question the whole professional feel of a work. I wish someone had given Gottman's writing the care and polish it deserves!

Required for my course, there are some mathematic/scientific component that makes it difficult to understand if you are not statistically savvy.

not well written and hard to follow

Everyone should read this book. Yes it's mathy, but what's more important, more worthy of effort, than love? It definitely needs editing though, there are several typos and some poorly worded paragraphs. At least one diagram is completely wrong. These are pretty important problems that I hope will be solved in the next edition.

Ein hammermässiges Buch. Das sollte jedes Paar lesen. Es ist toll geschrieben, man merkt auch, dass der Autor Humor hat. Die Erkenntnisse sind wichtig für die Welt.

Very good book if you enjoy mathematical equations. A lot of good information on relationships....the good ....the bad and the ugly.

Sehr ärgerlich, dass das Buch nicht aussieht wie auf dem Foto. Das Cover ist einfach nur blau. Außerdem ist das Buch beschädigt, zerkratzt und die Kanten abgeschlagen... Ersatz ist unterwegs. Ich bin gespannt ob das andere Buch das richtige ist