The Control Freak

Les Parrott is a Christian psychology professor and author of several best sellers. He is well-known in the Christian community and is the founder and co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. I have found Dr. Parrott's writings very useful in my ministry for adult children of abusive or controlling birth-families, Luke 17:3 Ministries. In this book, Dr. Parrott teaches us how to recognize a control freak and discusses their top ten characteristics- obnoxious, tenacious, invasive, obsessive, perfectionist, critical, irritable, demanding, rigid, and closeminded. A Control Freak has little respect for privacy and snoops in areas that aren't her business. It doesn't matter how illogical his argument or how insignificant his point, he won't let go. He often zeroes in on some minor detail and doesn't care about the big picture. Compromise is unspeakable- she is right and everybody else is wrong. She sets standards you never agreed to live by. Anything and everything is cause for a tantrum. He will make ridiculous demands and insist or coerce you into doing things his way. He uses criticism as a terrific tool to get people to do what he wants them to. There is a Control-Freak Self-Test which will tell you if you know a control-freak. Yes or No questions include: If something isn't exactly to this person's liking, he or she reflexively points it out- even at the risk of embarrassing others; It seems that winning an argument is more important to this person than finding the best solution; and If this person doesn't get what he or she wants, you can count on a good display of anger, pouting, or the silent treatment. The WADIT Principle is explained in a grimly humorous way. We continue forever to do something silly that doesn't make sense because of the WADIT Principle- because that is the way We Always Did It. Various types of Control-Freaks are discussed, as well as how to cope with them, including chapters on The Pushy Parent and The Invasive In-Law. Each chapter includes a self-test so you can see if you have a Pushy Parent or Invasive In-Law. Setting boundaries, saying "No", forgiveness, identifying your own reactive style, and making decisions are all discussed. We are also taught how to tame our own controlling tendencies. This is a very interesting and informative book for those with controlling family members, or other controlling people in their lives, and I highly recommend it.

As a person who deals with numerous control freaks, and who possesses the traits myself, I can appreciate Parrot's advice here for handling folks who refuse to do things any other way than their way. I can also appreciate his tips for tempering the control freak within me. His words are candid, thoughtful, and enlightening. This book is a good read for anyone who interacts a great deal with people. Strained relationships can be mended and strengthened by taming the control freaks around us, and most importantly the control freak within us.

Absolutely amazing book, it couldn’t have applied to my life in a more fitting way. I am SO glad I found this book. It was extremely inspiring, had amazing quotes, you can tell the author speaks with their own personal experience and is very knowledgeable, and accurate. Never heard of this author, but will seriously recommend and would love to read more of their work. I can’t explain more how much I enjoyed reading this book and how much it helped me in my life because it directly applies. Thank you for creating such an amazing piece of writing.

This book is a lifesaver for those drowning under the weight of the Control Freak(s) in their lives! Can you say, "mother-in-law ammunition?!" This outstanding work of art not only gives you practical tools to combat controlling behavior in others, but it also leads yo to examine your own life and discover the reasons behind your reactions to control freaks. For the self-professed Control Freak who reads it, this book examines the reasons why control is such an issue and how to effectively overcome those excuses. Les Parrott has amazing insight as a Control Freak, and his literary genius is a must for anyone who comes in contact with people, period!

This book is very informative regarding those who must maintain control at any cost. Very good read. Haven't finished book yet but good so far. Thus the reason for three stars.

I'd say that Dr. Parrott made a super hit on this one. It contains parts that make me laugh and others that make me wish I could force the control freaks I know to read it and even eat it. Control freaks are found all over. So I only wish that all of them could take time to buy it and read it. Then of course, apply its contents to themselves.

I still had to leave my job because of the control freak supervisor I had. But I have this book for future reference on what in the world motivates a person to be so horribly mean and evil and what motivates us to be a control freak at times. This book would help one deal with a challenge of figuring out how to work with someone like that if they had to. I never finished it, but I will keep it.

My therapist kept recommending this book. I bought it used and was delighted to find how engaging and practical this book is. I actually enjoy reading it. It covers control issues from many perspectives (parents, children, self, work, etc.). The author gives tool for overcoming control issues and dealing with others who are controlling.

Pretty reasonable content, a little repetitive in places, well laid out so I could jump straight to relevant sections. Didn't think the references to God were necessary, as I thought this should be more science (psychology) based.

There's many example of control freaks in people lives ex: at work, teenagers, spouses etc. and what they do and a lot of the information is how to point out a control freak. It does offer ways to deal with these people which is nice. I was looking forwards to the last chapter about how to stop being a control freak yourself. I didn't find that it had an abundance of information or ways to navigate ones own controlling patterns. It does give few ways though. The reasonings behind it felt too simple but I did like how it mentioned perfectionism as being a sort of pair that it comes in. I prefer personal stories of how psychologists treated someone in the past with such issues including the outcome, which I didn't find in this book. I just prefer books that deeply analyses people in detail. I find that it didn't go in depth enough. However, longer books about control freaks are hard to find I must admit.

Way too much talk about God this and grace that...definetly wasn't for me.