The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace

This is a challenging and great book. My marriage has grown better and he's been extra adoring since I started following these principles. And I do make plenty of mistakes still. I would recommmend this to every wife. Problem is, not every wife will be willing to swap her controlling behaviours for a happy marriage. Only read it if you: 1. Want a strong alpha male for a husband (and who doesn't?) 2. Want him to treat you like a precious jewel (and who doesn't?) 3. Want these things more than you want to feel right, superior or comfortably skeptical about your husband's abilities to do basic s*** in life. You really have to want to have a happy marriage to read this with an open mind. If you're rigid or defensive when you read it, you won't like it or apply it or benefit from it. You also have to know - men desperately want to be able to make their wives happy. And in here is how to do it. She discusses giving up "control" of your husband. And you may be surprised at what constitutes as control. Everything from innocently telling him what to dress the baby in to telling him how to drive like a nagging little pain in the neck. You see, when you do these things you are really saying "I don't trust you to do a good job of it on your own." And in truth, you might not trust him!!! We have all been there. BUT the essence of this book says in part: Men take their self-perception from their wives. (So Ladies you have to fake it till you make it). So if you are used to criticising his way or just advising him, you undermine his ability to be the man you want him to be. You see? From her book, is a quote by John Gray who wrote Men are From Mars: "When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will wither consciously or unconsciously repeat the behaviour that is not being accepted. He feels an inner complusion to repeat the behaviour until he feels loved and accepted." He didn't meet and marry you so that he could be advised on every action for the rest of his life. If you're advising or demanding - you're mothering = so not sexy & desirable. (ie. forget roses and chocolates if you're bossy.) So that sums that up. Onward. She also discusses how once you give up control, (allowing him to man up and be awesome like you wanted when you married him), you can tell him anything and everything that YOU WANT. Knowing what you want without a demand or controlling how he provides it, allows him to figure it out and provide it, if it's possible and to become the man whom can provide it! I can back this up - my man would give me anything. And if you don't ask for it, you probably won't receive it. She is a big supporter of self-care, time to yourself etc. Really worth a read if you take marriage seriously. I'm applying 7/8 of it. There's a quote by the author when she says not to tell him to turn around even if he's missed his turn and is in danger of leaving the state. Maybe in time I'll see it her way, but for now as a newbie, that's just not being a good partner to neglect mentioning something, in my opinion. But I can see that she's saying the less you say, the more trusting he knows you are, the better he'll do for you both.

I love reading this book. It helped me see myself through a different point of view! I also recommend getting a physical book vs reading on phone because it helps to get a better sense of what is being stated.

This book saved my marriage. After 5 years, my husband was ready to call it quits. He was no longer romantic or helpful. He never wanted to have any intimacy or hang out. He started to lie and buy expensive man toys and spent all of his time on hobbies. It was a constant struggle to get him to even help with the dishes. He even started to secretly smoke again. He was unwilling to compromise with anything and I really had no idea why. He even got verbally abusive in some of our worst arguments. I thought I had married a monster! When we were dating, he was the most romantic and sweetest man I had ever met who wanted to make me happy all the time. I felt like marriage had changed him and I was accidentally fooled into marrying the wrong guy. Finally, he explained how unhappy he was. He felt disrespected and he felt like I treated him like a child. He didn't want to even hang out with me for fear of being nagged or treated like he was inferior. He said he looked at other couples and felt sad when he saw women laughing and looking up to their men, because he thought I looked at him like a piece of garbage. I didn't want to face that all of this was true at first, but then I read this book and it was like reading my memoir. As soon as I started making changes, even small ones, my husband started to change too. He started to help out more. He asked me to help him with his hobbies. He started to be open and communicate about finances more. He even told me he was quitting smoking again and would be open about it. But the best is when I caught him gazing at me, something I hadn't seen him do in years. And this is when I'm pregnant and in sweats! Some of the negative reviews think this book is degrading to women or belittles them. What is so degrading about treating your husband with respect? Nobody likes to be nagged. Nothing is attractive about being his mom! Men don't get married, so their wife can change them. They get married because the woman accepts them for who they are and makes them feel good about themselves. Marriage shouldn't change this! And when you treat someone as if they were amazing, they usually will live up to that! You married him for a reason, right? You shouldn't treat your man as a woman either, because...well he's not and men and women are different in so many ways. And thank goodness! I would never respect my husband if he acted like a pushover! What if your man told you what to do? What chores to do, when to do them, how to do them? You would think that is pretty disrespectful. I used to think it was a woman's job to fix a man, but I was so wrong. A woman's job is to build her husband up, to make him feel good about himself, and to appreciate what they do. In return, they will be more helpful and they will desire you. You can fight these concepts if you want, but considering the divorce rate (and that doesn't include the men that are unhappily married and/or straying), I'll take my chances with following them. I think with feminist ideology and the marriage relationships we see on TV (think Everyone Loves Raymond, King of Queens), we have viewed men as stupid and lazy and the wife needs to fix them. But are those women attractive? Physically yes....but their nagging and complaining makes them anything but! If they were more gentle and respectful, they would be hot! I can't even watch those shows anymore, because they are so annoying and in real life those men would be miserable or cheating or on the way to the lawyers office. I am an educated, working mother-to-be. I'm strong and independent. But I also want to be seen as a desirable and attractive woman for my husband, and I want him to be the leader of our household. I think that is true feminism. Being intelligent, hardworking, and strong, but also being vulnerable, desirable, and trusting. That's sexy! This book showed me how disrespectful, and in some ways abusive, to my husband. But it gave me concrete ways to fix it. My husband is now back to his sweat, romantic, trustworthy, respectful, and helpful self!

I love this book. It helped me a lot with my feminine journey. Some of her references/examples are a bit old school but her point is made. I do love and appreciate her explaining how the masculine will step up when we back off. Practical, refreshing and enjoyable! Very great book!

I found this book at a crisis point in my marriage. The stories and reviews from this book gave me a lifeline and hope for my future. The skills Laura presents in the book are practical, simple and effective. As I began implementing them, the hostility and bitterness in my marriage started to dissolve until my husband shared 6 months later that he was falling in love with me all over again. I highly recommend this book!

Author is a fascinating woman, who is successful in her work and wise in her marriage! She presents some counter culture views, but with a thoughtful and detailed explanation. Sure to encourage any married woman who is open to reflection about her own ways of with her husband.

after reading some of the reviews on here i was a little skeptical. but after buying and reading it does have some good points. yes it should be taken with a pinch of salt and not everything is gonna work for you so dont think this is a tailor made book. the section about the husband taking the wrong turnoff on the motorway was highly amusing especially after reading some of the other reviews, but i guess the main point of the book is to stop causing more tention and creating bigger dramas by arguing. lets face it a month after an arguement do you really care or even remeber what it was about so whats the point in trying to argue it out. if you learn to let go more and try and avoid the drama and take more time in telling your husband nice things and appreciating him more then your onto a winner with a better relationship and thats what this books gets you to realise. i would definately recommend you buy, but if you do then also get your husband to read it as it should be something that he should try and work on too.

My partner and I went through several breakups in the past years. When things were good, which they were 98% of the time, they were really good. But when we argued it was so damaging with no way out but to end our misery. Yet I also knew that believing the next relationship would solve the problems I had now, wasn’t the answer, I would always bring myself to the next one, and for sure would have the same problems. I felt it was his fault because he has a strong character and an anger issue. Now I see how I contributed to all of this. Reading the book was like reading my own mind. I understood the inner conflicts I had, of wanting to be independent, feminist, everything should be equal, yet also desiring that he take the lead. I was afraid to lose myself, my self-worth, my independence and my voice. In the book she explains very clearly what to do, how to do it and the results from it. I spoke to my partner about it all, and he agreed with basically everything. Now I am implementing the new ways, Nd just after a few days he said he noticed a difference, that I respected him more, didn’t fight back to be right, and gave him more space. I have no doubt this will solve our problems, as it was a power struggle. I am so so grateful for having found this book and now recommend it to other women. Forever grateful!

Thanks Laura for this amazing book This book is helpful for the women around the world... Most religious books do mention some of these techniques and norms to be followed. But you have explained it so well with examples which urges every loving wife to follow and be a surrendered wife thereby winning true self,man and family.

un libro acuto e intelligente che ho letto in pochi giorni. offre interessanti spunti di riflessione. ho potuto notare sinceramente dei miglioramenti nella mia relazione utilizzando i consigli espressi nel libro, per questo lo consiglio ad altre donne.