Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life Paperback – Illustrated, August 14, 2014

This book is a life saver. As a child of a BP parent, I wish I had access to this information decades ago. I’m grateful to the author and recommend it highly to anyone caught in the drama these personalities generate.

I was on the cusp of getting out of the caretaking relationship through therapy, but this book actually put it into perspective for me and gave me the final push.

If you have someone in your life with borderline personality disorder or narcissist personality disorder, I highly recommend getting the book.

HI, I could hardly read this book since it bought up sad things I didn't want to think about. It is a good book. It showed better ways to say things..I statements instead of you statements. It had some wise things other books did not have. It has much detail in it.Both Borderline or Narcissist maybe Celiac which can affect brain/body and cause many health issues. Anger can be due to a liver that need to be detoxed. Vit D3 5000IU stopped my crying for no reason...had S.A.D.. Vit B12 methylcobalamin shot/under the tongue kind may help stress/sleep etc. Stress may use up B vitamins and zinc. Benfotiamine may help obsessing. Antidepression medicine may have Fluorine which can block thyroid and cause low oxygen which can cause worse depression/suicidal thoughts. Low oxygen in brain may cause depression/anxiety/obsessing/no sleep/panic/suicidal thoughts. Lithium orotate may help the brain. Hair tests show good minerals/heavy metals. Heavy metals can block chemical reactions and thyroid. Alcoholism may be due to craving the gluten in the alcohol. LDN may help block hidden gluten and heal the gut lining so more nutrients/fat absorb...then cells are made right to work right and help personality and more. Psychotic people may be low in B vitamins. Coenzymated B vitamins may help.I need to eat no gluten/dairy/soy/sugar/GMO...take vitamins/good oils/minerals...probiotic...LDN...detox. Mg/fish oil/Vit C, zinc, HCl and enzymes with meals, Vit B12 methylcobalamin shot/under the tongue kind/intrinsic factor kind/spray/cream, MTHF, rhodiola, coenyzme Q10, organic/sunlight/ enough good water..not tap water with F, Amour thyroid, cooking by scratch, exercise, no hidden gluten in nuts not sold in the shell/meat basting/some spices, food in a box with a label/certified gluten free may have 20ppm of gluten...too much. Microscopic gluten (wheat/barley/rye...oats) hurt me. Coenzymated B vitamins make me more calm and more help me. Hormone off/allergies/low Mg etc can be due to gluten. Far Infrared Sauna may help detox chemical/heavy metals/Lyme/yeast and more.

I wish I had found this book years ago, or at least one year ago, when I finally acknowledged my relationship was unhealthy. Maybe I'd have that year back of my life and things would have improved in my relationship OR I'd be moving on with my life, without my partner. I wish I had known what Borderline Personality Disorder was. The information in this book is very simply delivered and yet profound. You can get through this book pretty quickly which I think is important for someone who is completely drained of energy and feeling hopeless, constantly wondering if/how things will change or improve. Here is one of the main messages in this book: YOU (the caretaker) must change in order to have a better life. You need to stop hoping and stop trying to make the BP/NP change. Prior to "Stop Caretaking" I read "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by Lundy Bancroft. That is how I realized my husband possesses many traits of BPD. I also highly recommend "Should I Stay.." for anyone struggling in an unhealthy, destructive relationship.If you have been struggling in a relationship for years like I have, you probably have already been implementing some of the coping mechanisms outlined in this book--but it is validating and empowering to have a mental health expert telling you are not crazy, you are doing your best, and give you more tools to alleviate some of your problems...I struggle mostly with boundaries, saying no, and not giving into the BPD's demands. I have been practicing though, and it does get easier, and I don't get as disappointed, injured, or angry when he has an "episode".I also recommend getting the audio book so you can listen when you don't have space or privacy to read. It was a nice supplement to the book. BUY THIS now. Don't waste anymore time. If you have a loved one who you think is in an unhealthy relationship, give this to them.Side note: I can appreciate someone with a borderline/narcissistic personality disorder being mildly offended by being referred to in this book as " the BP/NP". However, the author is doing her best to simplify the information and get it across to the reader. This book is for the caretakers.