The Blame Game: How to Recover from the World's Oldest Addiction

How often do you find a book that heals the healers better than the healers ever healed themselves? A book that activates the activists. Teaches the teachers. And so forth.Contrary to the self-help advice you've received your entire life ("be positive", "learn from mistakes," "forgive and forget"), your body and life is actually not malfunctioning. Your body is 100% perfectly synchronized to your life and environment -- every ache and pain is perfect, giving you flawlessly accurate, customized opportunities to know your true self. Every joy and pleasure teaches you about your honest self.Every word you hear has meaning. Every sigh, every laugh, every pain, every pleasure, every yes, and every no in your life -- all of it is perfectly aligned. Nothing is broken! So why are we constantly blaming things for not being right enough? Too this, and too that?Written by first time author Denis Murphy, an independent expert on the subject of blame, this book accomplishes a surprising twist within the reader. The book itself helps you self heal and reach new levels of growth as you hilariously recognize a blame addiction you never knew you had. Murphy identifies a blame cycle that is so obvious it is actually funny that self help gurus throughout the ages have not only missed it but lived it.The intent of the book is to help you heal with magical simplicity, on any time frame you like. Yet in the process the author debunks (in the nicest way) just about every self-help book ever written. Murphy even redefines the classic Murphy's law as he writes, "my message is a simple one—The New Murphy’s Law: anything you think has gone wrong is here to help you discover who you honestly are."Without giving away the big surprise in the book, a mini-twist is that the author does not actually blame blame itself. Rather, he provides real world examples showing how the blame cycle is a convenient but unsustainable coping mechanism.Having professionally helped thousands of people heal themselves from "broken" bodies and relationships, the author provides illustrative examples that range from funny to shocking.The writing lands so close to home you'll feel like the book really is about you personally. And indeed it is, whether or not certain of us are ready to hear it. From the introduction, "There will most likely be times you want to throw the book at the wall." True.The book addresses blame as an addiction like alcohol, pornography, or caffeine. It offers an alternative to the blame cycle that is so transformative it sometimes feels like it would be easier to throw the book at the wall than realize every possibility is simultaneously present: I am the wall, the wall is here to help me learn something, there is no wall, I can float above the wall, dig underneath, walk through, build a door, anything.Just listen to your 100% perfectly functioning body, listen to your 100% perfectly aligned life in your environment, and your desirable possibilities are within. How could pain and suffering be 100% perfectly aligned? Well, that's what the book describes - the pain might not be desirable, but it 100% accurately reveals a system that can benefit from your attention.According to Murphy, there is no need for 'control and conquer' life strategies, or trying to 'be positive rather than negative', or any other self help stuff that is just coping disguised as healing. The reality is you're a self healing organism already working perfectly. Who knew? And why did we choose to convince ourselves otherwise? Why do we empower other people, groups, and even governments, to reinforce coping and control mechanisms?This book can change the world.It should be noted this book is not religious, and the author Denis Murphy is not affiliated with any organized religion.However, as a conservative Christian, this book improved my faith. For starters, I read biblical Hebrew and Aramaic (the language spoken by Yeshua (Jesus)), so I know firsthand the ancient word for blame is literally pronounced “satan”. That is why Satan is called ‘the accuser’ or ‘blamer’. And by contrast, the ancient word Messiah is from the same root word as ‘possibility’. So when Murphy offers that we benefit from less blame in our lives and more awareness of possibility, this resonates with me spiritually.I for one would like less blame/satan in my life. I would like God in my life, and I would like to share God's message of love, responsibility, justice, and healing.The book encouraged me to be aware that God's design is perfect, and that all lessons have meaning, and that God does perfect justice. As we learn to release from rigid attachment to blaming others, we learn to also release from blaming God. And that's big.I remembered the Gospel of John 11:4 regarding Lazarus. "Yeshua said, 'This sickness is not deadly, but is for the sake of the glory of God.'" Was Lazarus a victim of sickness as I originally assumed, or was he co-creating an extreme experience to fulfill his true deepest desire - to participate in a miracle that would glorify God?When we get really self-honest, we learn to reimagine our countless victim stories because they all have a common denominator - us. If we jump too quick to blame, we miss the opportunity for learning something deeper.I appreciated how Murphy’s book emphasizes that blame and justice are helpful; it's just the rigid attachment to reactionary blame that tends to shut down learning and healing.Another benefit is the book encouraged me to become more aware that I love my adversaries (Matthew 5:44) by learning from them.

It really is such a well written and enlightening book. When I first saw the title I didn’t think I blamed that much. Wow not only do I now see how much I blame but also how much everyone I know does. I loved how the client examples helped me understand and bring to life certain points. I am over 70 years old and it is incredible how my pain levels have gone down or away since following the exercises. Incredible!

This book is a must read. It shifted my perception from seeing "problems" in a certain way to seeing it in a totally different light, as an opportunity to wake up and heal. A "problem" or a pain in the body is there to show us something, its there to make us aware of what is not serving us and how it is actually helping us to get to our most honest self and path in life. I never realized how much in victimhood I was until this book. There are many shades of victimhood, very subtle to very obvious. Looking forward to shifting those one by one.I loved the case studies in this book, portraying real life stories and their issues and peoples realizations and therefore "waking up" to see it differently and healing from their physical, mental & emotional pain. I learned a lot through them.This new awareness towards blame & victimhood and how to exit that mindset is truly empowering.I love the reminder of how everything is interconnected and how life orchestrates itself FOR you and not against you.New Murphys Law: "Anything you think has gone wrong is here to help you discover who you honestly are."

Denis L Murphy is teaching us something the world has been waiting for. A zero-BS philosophy that is simple, straightforward, and works. Honesty. What a concept. We all believe we are honest yet the book shows us a very different picture. We are fake-honest (meaning dishonest) through our pretty sad attempts at control, blame, and victim actions ... it is surely easier to blame the dog for that fart than to own it ourselves. This book is a no-nonsense, zero-BS, read it again and again book. With each read, we dive deeper and wipe away more blame filters. It's simply brilliant. Thanks, Mr. Murphy!

This book is exactly what the world needs right now. A trip to a space of blame free self honesty that at times can feel challenging but ultimately healing. Prepare to see the world through a completely different lens of perception as you ditch the ‘blame blinkers’ and exit the victim cycle. The world without blame is so light you feel like you are flying and the difference you feel will impact your entire ecosystem.