The Sword of the Bastard Elf

This isn't a normal book - it's a GAME book, which is very much like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure, but with extra rules attached so that you can collect items and equipment, get in fights, and lose in many different, exciting ways! The great thing is that you are free to choose how closely you follow the rules - you can simply read through it like a traditional Choose-Your-Own-Adventure and still have a bunch of fun reading through all the different branching paths.The writing is ridiculous and on-point; there's never a dull moment in the adventure. There are tons of fun pop culture nods, great macabre and insane illustrations, a huge assortment of items and equipment to collect, and the book is big and heavy enough that it can easily offer bonus utilitarian uses, such as serving as a very awkward doorstop or makeshift murder weapon. Highly recommended!

Was very happy with the story, it is 5 star but got it on Tuesday and today Friday November 30th (second time I opened to play)the book is falling apart. I will take more photos later showing the poor quality of numerous pages. Highly dissatisfied with the quality. Not worth $25 not worth $5 I feel bad for anyone buying this. I feel bad for the author, in fact if I was him I would be asking questions.

The gamebook is a spectacle to be held. The story is silly but appropriate for this style of gamebook.The gaming mechanic is quite simple but very thorough. Overall, this gamebook is a must have for those that seek an epic challenge. With over 1,800 entries that affect gameplay,and a massive glossary to determine what's what that's encountered throughout the game,this gamebook has everything.

Good

I never read it or nothin, but I needed something to prop up my baby. Between this and a plastic wetwipe dispenser, the baby prefers The Sword of the Bastard Elf. If you have a baby you gotta get this book. If not I wouldn't but maybe you would? Like Isaid I didn't read it lol.!

Got this off the Kickstarter.This is a gamebook, like I had in primary school. Make no mistake - this isn't for everyone. It's longer than the Bible and about as bloody, and parts of it are completely unhinged. What that means, though, is that if this is your kind of thing you can probably find a dozen paths through it (some which end in ways which can only be described as unhygenic). It's replayable like no other gamebook I've ever seen.And a quick word on the art. It's wonderfully odd, a kind of Robert Crumb/Lovecraft/schlock horror mash-up. Lots of full panels and weird details. God only knows how much time it took.Basically, I love it.

Runs too damn slow.

I hardly know where to start.Like the man who makes a full-sized model of Sidney Greenstreet in his garden from Pringles lids and moss, this book is a hugely impressive feat, though you might well wonder why the feat was undertaken in the first place.As joke gamebooks go, it’s phenomenal. Most of these writers just find the idea comical enough, and bash something out with very little thought of gameplay. This, however, is a vast (and I mean vast, at over 1800 sections, which is nearly 5 Fighting Fantasies smooshed together), and incredibly well put together. The structure of the game is truly impressive, and the literary ability is well above the level of the average gamebook, plus there’s also a dice-based system which, while tongue in cheek, actually works, which is actually quite a rare thing. There is good replay value in a nice level-up system, so you can get a lot of plays out of this; I’ve had tons of goes, without finding all the endings, though I did get to the last paragraph (sound the bathos alarm!). Even the illustrations are pretty great. Managing all of these together in a gamebook, especially one of this monstrous size, is phenomenally hard to pull off.However, if in the last sentence you didn’t chuckle at the phrase “pull off” (especially right next to “hard”) the humuor may not be for you. Some of it is rather elegant, especially some of the vintage gamebook pastiches, but equally a lot of it is merely plops and boobies. Comedy is subjective, of course: I liked a lot of it, whilst getting bored of some of the repetitive smuttiness, but your smileage may vary. Essentially, despite being impressed with the construction, I wished it had been a bit more compact.This preposterous undertaking deserves celebrating, and if you think you might like it, buy it. If the very idea of schoolkid humour is anathema to you, stick to something more serious.

Really want to read this book but it is too heavy to open. Currently using it to weigh down a corner of my car, since my tires are unbalanced. 5/5 stars for safety performance. Have a bottle jack on order from the autoparts store, should be able to crack this bad boy open when it gets here. Glad the book is finished as its given the author more time for other projects (ST2018!)The cat was not included (and neither were the items!)

The Sword of the Bastard Elf is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book like the ones popular in the 80s before computers and video game consoles became dominant. While it appeals to the nostalgia of adults who used to play with these books as kids, it transcend the mere nostalgia factor.The Sword of the Bastard Elf is more satirical than the originals and the writing is much better than what you would have found or even needed in the original books. It is rip-roaringly funny and full of poignant satire and hilarious allusions. And yet the narrative is really coherent and pulls the reader in, making it work as both a comedic recreation and real literature. It's sheer size allows for many re-readings and since your character in the book will change between "re-starting" the book according to previous events, it offers new experiences each time you go through it.I can only recommend this book. Even though it is genre fiction, it will also appeal to people who wouldn't touch a fantasy novel in their life, since there is so, so much more going on in it.

A hefty book and no wonder when there’s so many choices.Insane. But in a good way. A funny way.Why not f a dragon and burn your step dads house down?Genuinely glad this mad book exists, it’s just a fun way to pass time and escape reality for a bit

Well written book, poor quality binding of the pages, not sure if its production issue or the task of making a book this size, either way, if it is a production issue I'd recommend the author seek out another manufacturer in the future. It won't fall to pieces in your hand, but one shouldn't have to be this careful either.2.5 starsHalf for the author, half knocked off for the manufacturer .