Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power; A Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't

It is easier for me to follow the book with the audiobook. Some books do not match exactly as the audiobook and vice-versa. This book is recommended to me to read and study from. So far so good. My teacher and I are referencing a lot from the book on how to improve.What is Existential Kink about?Existential Kink (2020) invites you to transform your life by embracing your deepest desires and hidden shadows. Through a radical and intriguing journey, you'll discover the power of turning your “wrongness” into personal growth and self-acceptance. With the help of seven axioms and practical exercises, prepare to unleash your true potential and create positive change.

I found this book after reading the review of it on Sasha's Substack, which is a great introduction.To be totally honest, I felt like the quality of the writing and the organization of the book could have been better, but I absolutely must give this book five stars because the philosophy in its pages has changed my life for the better.The author's style is a bit sassy and yes, overtly sexualized, but I suppose a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.Carolyn Grace Elliot, the author, describes herself as a student of Carl Jung, and quotes him saying, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." Many of us have heard this quote, but CGE articulates a philosophy of living and practical exercises to "make the unconscious conscious".CGE's words aroused my curiosity as there have been a lot of things in my life that I have wished to change, and the philosophy and exercises in the book actually did, in a very practical way, make me aware of previously unconscious beliefs, attitudes, and habits. On one occasion, I actually experienced a rather beneficial vision of sorts while practicing one of the exercises. What really amazes me about Existential Kink is that when I have an experience where I discover some "unconscious" thing, it doesn't feel like learning something new, but it rather feels like suddenly becoming aware of something I've always known.Being a queer and neurodivergent person, I have experienced a lot of emotional trauma and isolation in my life, and the philosophy and exercises laid out in Existential Kink have become indispensable tools in my quest to build a life more worth living. There are few books that have made such a positive impact on me, and by extensions, my friends and loved ones, than Existential Kink.That being said, my friend who referred me to the review on Sasha's Substack said that Existential Kink didn't work for them, so your mileage may vary.I thank Carolyn Grace Elliot for writing this very helpful book, and I hope that she will provide more wisdom and insight in future books!

WHERE do I start?? Firstly, that as a trauma survivor herself, Dr. Carolyn will deal both gently and completely with being triggered, but there is not going to be a content warning on every page so approach this book with risk-awareness.Next, this is arguably the most important book on both Magic and the Mental-Material landscape that has emerged YET. As Twitter has turned the average attention span for works of literature toward (now) 280-character comeback and aphorism, here is modern Jungian psychology, Hermetic wisdom, Western Esoteric tradition, and unabashedly necessary Kink education distilled (which is a High Art) into pithy, earthy, startlingly brilliant and infinitely wise practical application.In other words, just the metaphysical breakthrough guide I needed.There are lifetimes of wealth wisdom alone here, funnelled into a neat shot of whiskey and ice cold bath for the Soul. You don't get knowledge like this the easy way, as Carolyn could well tell you. I was prepared by the run-up to her release of the book, in her newsletter she spoke candidly about what she would share. So I made myself a promise. I would listen to it on Audible first, read aloud by her, and HEAR HER OUT without skipping ahead. And this has been a valuable commitment. I am a trauma survivor who was previously of churched religion. It is so embarrassingly EEEEEAAAAAASSSSSYYYYY to get offended, skip ahead, and believe you know everything that is in a person's heart or mind. What is not easy is holding the duality of your own pain and letting someone who activated your nervous system finish their thought or thesis or magic ritual of initiation to hidden knowledge. Because that pain? That pain you can chose, in a safe container like a book and your own mind, is Worth It.And I haven't even done the Existential Kink meditation yet, though I've read the book twice on paper now and am using the Audible read-along to focus. Why? Because, as Carolyn warns, there are levels and details to healing that MUST be accomplished and grieved with professional assistance before proceeding with an Alchemical transaction of such magnitude. And I'm still studying. But so far, I feel lighter, empowered, more jubilant toward Life and it's possibilities, with direction for boundaries and topics for greater therapy with a licensed professional. Plus links to great resources are hidden throughout the book!! If youre too upset to make it through, walk away or come back later. But it's absolutely worth it.

My main takeaways from this book revolved around Being honest about your subconscious programs and the dark side of you that is cocreating behind the scenes. The author makes a solid case that by ending the resistance to the unflattering shadow self, you free your energy up to do other things. You allow yourself to be more totally. It may take some folks a little while to fully integrate the way she frames it, especially if you follow a more mainstream understanding of Law of Attraction or a different paradigm. This book challenges your self perception and pushes to look at yourself as a kinky, wild, untamed being who likes the suffering you’ve been manifesting in order to empower self to create change. My initial reaction is that the packaging won’t resonate with everyone, but the source of her message is pretty sound. In short, if you feel drawn to this book, it’s worth reading. If you don’t, then that’s okay too.

It's a great book. I know its main criticism is that people say "no, I don't want those things that are happening to me" but THAT is the point of shadow work and the point of the book; making peace with a part of you that does (and recognizing it) so you can integrate it and break the habit of wanting, subconsciously, those bad things. It's a very witty and very practical approach, hopefully one that works great but in any case, at least as a book, it's very, very good.

This book is just SO great - IF you're ready to lean into yourself for a deep dive. I recommend this book to everyone - not just friends, but in my blog posts and podcast as well. Speaking of which, I think I've now listened to every podcast Carolyn Elliott has ever been on and she's awesome live as well. I initially avoided the book as I thought it was using sex as a sales gimmick (yawn), but it's not like that at all. And kink/kinky is used in the context of 'the weird-ass stuff we get off on' like drama queens, or someone who LIKES to create massive stress so they can swoop in and save the day, etc. It's a wonderful, fabulous self-help, illumination book.

Incredibly valuable, and manageable concepts to say a big yes to everything in life. Amazing mix of psychology, tantra, and shadow work. Brilliant. Must read for those who are ready to take a critical look at themselves and access immense pleasure in doing so.

Was für ein unglaubliches Meisterwerk! Ich habe dieses Buch verschlungen! Auch wenn mein Englisch gar nicht so gut ist und die Sätze teilweise lang und mit einem Haufen unbekannter Wörter waren. Ich habe mich gerne in dieses Buch vertieft. Welch eine Fülle von unterschiedlichen Methoden, die alle auch sehr mit der ursprünglichen Methode zusammenhängen. Ich habe bisher noch keine Methode erlebt, die Schattenarbeit mit so viel Spaß und Sexapeal angeht. Danke!

Amazing book; one of the bests in my life ; if u know deep down your a kinky person and want to face it : )