Loving Our Kids on Purpose: Making a Heart-To-Heart Connection Kindle Edition

I'm so glad I purchased this book. Honestly the best parenting book I've ever read and have already read it for a second time. I love how it parallels how God "parents" us and goes into how we should be parenting in the same manner. It also has some great strategies and tips. Figuring out how to discipline in the right can be so difficult, and this book has some great insight. Highly recommend.

I loved this book. I love that it was written from a new covenant mindset. It was written in a way that was super easy to apply to my everyday parenting and will defiantly be a book that I refer back to as a resource.

When I do a book review, I typically like to give very specific details outlining what the book is about. For this review, I am not going to do that. Why? Because I firmly believe that this is a book that EVERY christian parent needs to own. I specify "christian" parents only because the entire basis for this book comes from the Bible, and if you haven't chosen to live according to the will of God, then half the stuff in this book wouldn't necessarily apply. The principles are still good for everyone, but it is definitely from a christian perspective. :)That said, if you were going to read any book about parenting, I really do believe that this should be it! It has caused within us a PARADIGM shift in the way we are parenting. We came to realize that our current methods fell under an Old Testament model, rather than under the New Covenant. Without realizing it, we have been living in fear of the mistakes and sins of our children. We used to think that it was our job to control them and teach them the importance of obedience and then "discipline" them when they failed to obey. Now, we realize that more important than obedience is developing true, deep heart-to-heart connections centered in LOVE. We have begun to value the importance of giving them choices (lots of choices) and helping our children learn how to manage freedom. We have stepped away from scolding, making threats, allowing ourselves to become angry and frustrated, and laying down heavy punishment for their misbehavior. We are embracing a new practice of shared control, mutual respect, allowing them to experience real (and sometimes painful) consequences of their choices, and peace.I cannot say enough positive things about the truths laid out within this book. It is going to completely change the life and environment within our family. There are still SO many situations in which we are trying to figure all of this out. But the atmosphere in our home is changing...from a place of frustration, control, and anger to one of peace, self-control, and love. The kids seem to be responding positively, and we are enjoying the process. Let me give you an example of this change:Naomi (age 2.5) was at the table eating breakfast, while her brother, Isaac (age almost 4) was playing by himself in the other room. He was playing with some toys that were Naomi's and began to walk toward her, saying, "Naomi...look what I'm playing with!" in a very taunting tone of voice. Previously, in exasperation, I would have angrily said, "ISAAC! What are you doing?!? You KNOW that's going to upset her. Now please go back and play by yourself." He would have scowled at me or laughed and walked away feeling angry at me. But after reading "Loving Our Kids on Purpose," the situation went like this...Isaac: "Naomi, look what I'm playing with!"Me: "Hey buddy...what do you think Naomi will do if you show her that you're playing with her toys?"Isaac: "She might say, 'Hey! I want them!'"Me: "I bet you're right. So are you going to choose to provoke her right now or go play quietly by yourself? What's the best choice?"Isaac: "I'll go play by myself."Me: "Great choice, buddy!"And off he went...leaving his sister alone. And how did he feel after our interaction? Empowered. In control. Free. I helped him to realize that he had a choice, and gave him the freedom to choose how he was going to go forward. He felt good about his choice and so did I!I'm still fumbling through this whole thing, though. One of our constant struggles is Isaac's use of potty-talk. So one morning, after hearing some words come out of his mouth, I decided he needed a choice. So I said, "Okay, Isaac...you have a choice. Do you want to keep using that potty talk or do you want to eat soap to clean out your mouth?" He sat there, thinking about his choices...and then it hit me that I messed up! LOL. Whoops! I back tracked, saying, "Do you want to keep using potty talk AND eat some soap afterward? OR would you like to clean it up by yourself?" He smiled and said, "I'll clean it up myself." Awesome.Another example of a "whoops" moment came this morning, as Isaac was throwing toys across the room. I said, "Hey buddy...do you want to keep throwing those toys or would you like to put them away?" LOL. He answered, "Keep throwing them." I hit myself in the forehead with my hand. Haha. So I'm still learning too. It is going to take A LOT of practice and prayer to get this down pat. But I truly believe that these changes are going to improve the quality of life for our entire family for years to come! It's not going to be easy, though, as we have already established a particular way of communicating with one another. We have to change our hearts and attitudes first, before we are going to see the change in our children. But I'm ready for the challenge and excited about the fruit that these changes will bring!I will try to write another review after a few months to give an update on how things are going at that time. But in the meantime, if you are able, PLEASE do yourself and your family a HUGE favor and go get this book! You will NOT regret it!! :)

Great book with practical, applicable advice and insight. Author is relatable and sincere. 10/10

Product was just as described, and arrived in a timely manner.

Highly recommendedOne of the most helpful parenting book I have read in my life, and done so in a very biblical perspective

This book is gold. It has completely changed my parenting perspective for the good. I am so thankful for this resource. God is using this book to change parts of me that I did not know were flawed and broken.

This was recommended to me by a great friend, she is also my preacher. This book has been a Godsend. It has really helped me with my relationship with my daughter during a time I really needed it. I love it. Very thankful for this book. We aren’t all raised knowing how to love our kids on purpose but with this book we can start. It’s helped me shift my mindset on some things and given me a toolkit of ideas I can and have used and that have worked.

My husband and I run parenting courses for the community, and we have used a lot of different material that has always had very helpful strategies, but this is something very different. No matter what you have read on parenting before, you need to read this book (and see the DVD's).It focuses first and foremost on our heart to heart connection with our children - and keeping this connection for the long haul of our lives together as family. We are not here to control our children, but to help them to realise that they are powerful children who can make choices - and that these choices will have consequences. If we are able to control ourselves as parents and take a step back from trying to control them (and getting ourselves stressed out in the process!), we will be amazed at how our children are able to make great decisions and take control of their actions, and how they will learn to value their connection and relationship with us. We too will see how we can parent without being so stressed out all the time because the only person we are here to control is ourselves.We have used the DVD's running courses for the community as part of our local church. Christians and non-Christians alike have loved it and have seen amazing changes in the relationships with their children at home and in their work relationships with the adults they rub shoulders with.A very powerful mind shift in our thinking as parents and adults - be prepared to have your heart challenged and to see amazing connection with your family if you follow through on this journey to connection. Enjoy!

A very interesting read such a shame I didn’t have this book when I was raising my children. They were raised under law. After reading the book I felt quite sad as I know my mistakes have caused them problems. However I can’t turn back the clock but I can act differently now. A great read if you are going to be a parent or like me have children. I will work hard to apply these principals to my children even though they are now adults and my grandchildren . Good practical biblical advice. Love from the heart . ❤️

This was such a refreshing book! A whole new paradigm, basing the raising/disciplining of children on the way God disciplines us. More to do with loving correction and training in making wise choices than in control and punishment.The first chapter probably had the most impact on me, and the rest of the book re-enforced in practical ways the foundation laid in that one.Very helpful; wish I'd had it to hand when I was starting out with my kids.It was recommended to me as a book to read to help me understand my Heavenly Father's parenting of me. So you don't have to be a parent of young children to get something out of it!

This is an excellent book on a radical parenting method. Instead of seeking obedience and compliance, the book looks at how we can really get to know our children and be close to them and help them learn to make their own decisions- with the consequences that go with that. In our house (with a 5 year old) it has meant less shouting already, and a calmer feel. We are learning to entrust responsibilities appropriately, and our child is learning to cope with the freedom to make choices in a safe way (also appropriately). Note that this is an American book, and it shows in some of the culture, but the ideas are great and easily applicable in different settings.

Completely opposite way of approaching parenting compared to what most of us have used to. It teaches us to parent our children the way God parents us through His Holy Spirit, so simple!!! Three days ago I was SO desperate with my children I was worried one day I would have have enough. I read this book in a day and it brought back the same principles I had learned some years ago but I had forgotten. Now two days after putting these principles into practise my husband and I can see a major difference in our 5 year old boy. We are already getting our relationship back which I have always struggled with him because of me being so angry and punishing him just to make him behave. Would especially recommend this to any parent or anyone working or bringing up children!